A space for us

This is a space for us to discuss our queerness free from shame. Engage as little or as much as you like. I try to respond to y'all as soon as possible.

One key thing. We moderate this community.

What I mean is the rules for a community are not just some fluff on a page. We make up this community and all have a role in holding each other accountable.

Why it's more than just rules

Have you been apart of an online community where the vibes were good. But then over time slowly it just gets full of the alt-right? No just me...? A good set of rules, values and practices set the foundation for a community to build on. If the foundation is rocky then none of us will have a fun time in the future.

Our social practices

What we owe and expect from each other in this community:

  • active listening
  • embrace being human, messy and getting it wrong
  • focus on repair after conflict
  • showing up to support each other
  • hold each other accountable
  • build community
  • ask questions from a place of respect
  • be curious
  • be vulnerable
  • learn and teach each other
  • share information and resources.

Conflict is normal

In every community, there is connection... and conflict. Conflict is normal. It will happen. The most important part of conflict often overlooked is repair. Repair pushes us all to grow and be better. It will make our community stronger. If we let it.

So what are the damn rules?

No bigotry

We have a zero toleration for bigotry.
By this I mean no:

  • transphobia
  • queerphobia
  • racism
  • ableism
  • fatphobia
  • sexism
  • misogyny
  • xenophobia.

And any other bigotry not listed.

No stigma or shame

We have a zero tolerance for shaming one another or passing on stigma.
This means no:

  • sex work stigma or shaming
  • passing on HIV stigma
  • serophobia
  • sex negativity.

No anti-social behaviour

Again goes without saying but if you're here it's to vibe and be together.
This means no:

  • personal attacks
  • trolling
  • spam
  • self promotion
  • debate bro-ing
  • bad faith questions.

So you're breaking our rules

If you see comments or community members going against our:

  • social practice
  • values
  • rules.

I encourage you to reach out to that person directly. I think it's important for all of us to hold each other accountable and have those conversations with each other.

Now. If things are a bit sticky-ier... Reach out to me or one of our site moderators by the contact us form or shoot Odus Moore a direct message.

Consequences

Clear rule breaking

I'm not going to set hard rules or a 3 strike system. Each situation is different. If you are clearly breaking rules, being anti social and acting in bad faith you're bonked!

I will banish you with the ban hammer. Do not pass go, do not collect $200.

If you paid for a membership I don't care. I will cancel your subscription and finish up your account.

Being messy and human

Now sometimes when we break rules it's not clear cut. We all understand sometimes stuff happens. We are human. I expect us to come together after some time passes to cool down.

We make every good faith attempt to focus on repair after conflict. Again. It's messy, it's human, it can take time to heal.

If you keep showing up without being vulnerable or your focus is not on repair this probably isn't the community for you.